Why apologising to customers matters in complaint handling

When someone has waited six weeks and chased three times, the familiar line “We’re sorry for any inconvenience caused”, will not land. It does not resolve the issue. It inflames it. A late train’s an inconvenience. Six weeks of chasing a complaint is something else entirely.

Your role when the heat is on

Complaint handling is complex because it’s emotive. The customer has lost trust in your service or product, and you’re the person on the front line trying to sort it out.

Their frustration has been triggered, and they often start by feeling the need to defend their position. This often translates into moaning and raised voices from them; not the best of starts to your relationship with each other.

But you have a simple advantage: the power to lower the temperature.

First, listen without interruption. Let the customer get the problem off their chest. Then thank them and give a sincere apology.

By this point, most customers will have calmed down because it’s difficult to stay angry with someone who remains calm and is trying to help.

In plain terms, if you want to reduce churn and keep customers, how you handle the complaint is the lever you control.

Thank you‘s first - sorry on its own is not enough

Most customers never complain. They walk away quietly. The customers who do complain are spending their time and energy providing feedback, giving your firm a chance to make amends.

“When service recovery is excellent, 78% of customers will stay with you even after a mistake.” (Salesforce Research)

That is why the first words matter. Thank them for raising the issue. Then apologise for the experience.

I’ve sat on your side of the desk. Some days you need more patience than coffee. Thanking someone who’s showing frustration can feel strange, even wrong. But you’re not thanking them for being unhappy. You are recognising the time and effort they have already spent on the issue that has upset them.

You’re opening the door to a calmer, faster resolution process.

Say it in this order:

'Thank you for taking the time to contact us about [issue].

Then use...

• I’m sorry that this issue has made you feel this way, or

• I’m sorry you had to chase this, or

• I’m sorry this took up your time, or

• I’m sorry we did not meet the standard you expected.

Followed by...

Here is what happens next…

I will update you by (insert date).'

Can saying thank you and an apology fix everything?

In a word, no. But, here‘s the important outcome from saying them:

'They can‘t fix everything, but they can diffuse the situation and bring the customer back on side.'

When you listen, apologise, and show the next steps, the heat drops, and the customer starts to work with you rather than against you.

Whereas a cold script translates into an insincere apology, which can only turn a small problem into a much bigger one. Customers can spot a badly worded template from a mile off.

Most of us use templates for written work. They give structure and save time. However, when using an apology template, make sure that you personalise it and double check to ensure there are no [COMPLETE DETAILS] showing before you send it.

🫣 We've all been there, you've been trying to sent the same email for the past hour and get keep getting interrupted by the phone. You hit send just as another call comes in - the consequence comes later.

Why does saying sorry make such a difference?

When someone complains, they are not only asking for a fix. They want to be heard and treated fairly. Acknowledgement does this.

You’re showing:

• Emotional response. It shows you have heard them and that it matters.

• Effort and impact. It recognises the hassle they have already experienced.

• Perceived fairness. There’s trust that you’ll fairly investigate the complaint because you’ve listened.

‘This isn’t fluff. I’ve proved it in complaint handling time and time again.’

Is saying sorry admitting liability?

No, despite what you might think, an apology on its own is not an admission of negligence in the UK. Section 2 of the Compensation Act 2006 makes this clear. You can also make an ex-gratia payment on a goodwill basis without accepting liability. In these instances, it’s important to be explicit in your wording and keep your notes tidy.

📌 Practical watch out. If you arrange a repair as a goodwill step and that repair fails, or causes a new problem, as a business, you can be held liable. Record what you agreed to and why.

How to professionally apologise to a customer

Keep it short, specific, and action-focused. Avoid filler lines and jargon.

These apply to verbal and written responses:

If you are putting something right

'Thank you for contacting us about [issue]. I’m sorry you had to chase this. Here’s what I will do now. [step one]. [step two]. I will update you by [date].'

If you need more information

'Thank you for taking the time to explain what happened. I’m sorry this has taken up your time. I need a few details to complete our review so we can resolve this quickly. Please share [specifics]. I will confirm next steps by [date].'

If you missed an update

'We did not update you when we said we would. That is on us, and I’m sorry. Here is what happens now. [step one]. [step two]. I will keep you updated without you needing to chase.'

If the complaint is not upheld

You can still thank and apologise without accepting fault. You are apologising for the experience, not for a breach you did not find.

Option A

'Thank you for raising your concern with us and allowing us the time to fully investigate. I’m sorry for how this has felt on your side.

We have now completed our review, and after careful consideration, we are not upholding the complaint.

Here’s what we checked and why. [short reasons].

If you think we have missed anything, please tell me, and I will review it.

Sign off with regulatory wording supplied by your compliance team.'

Option B

'Thank you for contacting us about [issue]. Feedback is always welcome as it helps us look at ways we can improve.

I’d also like to apologise for how this has made you feel.

I have now completed my review and based on the evidence we have, we are not upholding the complaint. I understand that you may find this disappointing. To help you understand our decision, these findings informed our decision. [short reasons]

Sign off with regulatory wording supplied by your compliance team.'

Option C - with a goodwill payment

'Thank you for explaining what happened and for the opportunity to review your complaint. I’m sorry this has taken up your time.

Our investigation found we met our responsibilities, so we are not upholding the complaint. Here’s why ….

We recognise how this issue has made you feel and we really value your feedback, so we are offering a goodwill payment of [amount] on a without prejudice basis. This does not mean we accept liability.

Please let me know if you would like to accept this payment, and I will arrange to have it paid to you.

Sign off with regulatory wording supplied by your compliance team.'

📌 If your customer is vulnerable, they may need additional support understanding your resolution. You can read more about this in our practical guide for handling vulnerable customers in complaints.

Clear structure makes apologies count

You’ve apologised; your customer is calm and trusting you. Now you must keep this good work going by delivering actions when you say you will. If you don’t, the apology means nothing.

One of the biggest frustrations for customers is radio silence, or case handlers missing agreed deadlines on their complaint.

Having a clear structure or process makes it easier for you to keep your promises. Even if you don’t have anything new to report, tell them, and then explain the reason why.

Showing customers that you keep to your word will make them feel heard and valued.

It’ll also make your job easier if you end up not upholding the complaint because they’ll still have trust in you to treat them fairly.

A solution to missed deadlines and escalations

A complaint case management system helps you keep your promises going forward. Automation helps you track responses, give timely updates, and set alerts so that you do not miss important dates.

If you're struggling with scattered documents in the inbox, missed deadlines due to backlogs, and endless inbound calls chasing for updates, Complyr’s complaint case management software, is the answer to your problems.

You can finally ditch the dreaded inbox that takes up so much of your day, and see everything in one place. Share chosen files and updates with the customer in the system, in real time. This gives you back precious time for conversations that resolve complaints, builds customer loyalty, and makes your job a whole lot easier.

📌 Sign up for a free trial (no credit card required, so you won't need to jump through hoops to get started), and see for yourself.

Here's some more help, from my desk to yours, because supporting one another in complaints is a must.

The 5 Cs of Complaint Handling - a simple framework that mirrors how teams work.

What is Complaint Case Management Software? - for the bigger picture.

Quick empathy prompts for calls and emails

These will help keep your tone steady when the conversation is heated. They’re short by design.

• I can hear how much time this has already taken, thank you for your patience, let me see what I can do.

• Thank you for your patience whilst I investigate this, rest assured, I will work as fast as I can.

• I’m sorry that you keep being transferred, let me take ownership of this so you have me as your point of contact. *

• I’m sorry that this issue has made you feel this way, let me walk you through the next steps so you know what to expect.

* This has always helped me calm a customer down - and I've even received thank you messages for it!

💡 Tip: A practical technique that helps is to start the conversation using a slightly higher, brighter tone than your natural voice. Then, if you’re having a bad day or your voice drops during a difficult discussion, you’ll still sound friendly and helpful. It’s hard to stay angry with someone who sounds steady and kind.

From apology to advocacy

Dealing with upset customers is hard work and is draining at times. When you handle the apology well and keep to your promises, you do more than close the file, you’ll create a loyal customer. You show them the standard that your firm holds when under pressure, or when things go wrong. This is how you turn a bad day in complaints into a good one!

🧯 P.S. Complaint handling does not have to feel like firefighting. With the right approach and the right tools, it becomes a chance to win people back, not lose them.

FAQs

How soon should I apologise after a complaint is raised?

Apologise as soon as you acknowledge the complaint; immediacy matters. Customers expect a rapid, human response, and a prompt apology (within hours, not days) helps lower tension and shows the issue is valued. Nearly 96% of customers report greater loyalty when they receive a swift, sincere apology after a mistake (Sobot).

If you are dealing with FCA regulated complaints, an acknowledgement letter must be sent to the customer within 5 business days of receipt of the complaint, or a summary resolution letter if the complaint has been resolved within 3 business days. This response should also include thanking the customer, and your apology to them.

Is saying sorry admitting fault in the UK?

No, apologising is not an admission of legal liability. Under Section 2 of the Compensation Act 2006, a statement of apology (including offers to pay on an ex gratia basis) cannot be treated as evidence of negligence or breach of duty. You can say sorry and make a goodwill payment without admitting fault, provided your wording is clear.

Does making a goodwill repair make you liable if it then goes wrong?

Making a goodwill repair can, in some circumstances, create legal liability if the repair goes wrong or fails to resolve the issue. By undertaking the repair, even as a gesture of goodwill, the business is seen as taking ownership of the problem. If the repair is unsuccessful or causes further problems, the customer may pursue further claims, arguing that your intervention made the issue worse or failed to fix the original fault.

Is it professional to apologise?

Yes, it is both professional and essential. Apologising signals emotional intelligence, transparency, and accountability, all of which are valued by customers and regulators. Businesses that apologise genuinely are four times more likely to turn a complaint into advocacy, further boosting their reputation. (Aircall)

What are the 4 A's of an apology in complaint handling?

The 4 A's are:

• Acknowledge: Recognise and validate the issue raised.

• Accept responsibility: Take ownership of the mistake or inconvenience, even if there was no fault.

• Apologise: Express a sincere, personal apology for the customer’s experience.

• Answers: Explanations about the complaint issue and the solution (even if this means not upholding it after an investigation.

What are the 5 R's of a business apology?

The 5 R's are:

• Recognise: See and understand the customer’s experience - 'walk in their shoes'.

• Respond: Acknowledge the complaint without delay - prove the customer's feelings are valued

• Regret: Express a sincere, personal apology that shows you have empathy for how the customer feels.

• Resolve: Explain clearly what actions will happen next and how long you expect it to take.

• Reassure: Follow up and confirm the customer's satisfaction with the resolution, showing care for future experiences.